Getting a little nervous...

Well, I havent posted a blog since the 'real' first one, but have been really busy with the spring semester starting up, and obviously having 3 children, 2 in school at that, keeps me on my toes as well. Last Monday I met with the surgeon about the new, or recurring hernia above my belly button, and was told that he wanted to get me into surgery as soon as possible, so needless to say, I am going into surgery this Thursday, less than 2 full days away, and unlike last time I had hernia surgery, this time it will not be laparoscopic. He said that he's gonna have to cut me open and do more of an exploratory surgery before he repairs any damage done by the last, and fixes the hernia(s) I have now. I wasnt prepared for it to be a major surgery...I thought it'd be the simple laparoscopy I had last time, and I'd be up and moving in a few days. Now I have been told that more than likely I'll be out of class for at least a week, and that I wont be able to exercise normally for about 6 weeks. I get nervous about all this surgery stuff, although this will be my 5th surgery...Its because of that damn movie "Awake"...Remember it? If you saw it, you should...lol. I know the likelihood of that happening is very rare, but it will linger in the back of your mind should you find out you have to have surgery, and that youre gonna be under general anesthesia. I'll be glad when its all over and I dont hurt and ache every day and night. The pain is excruciating most days, and its hard to do everything I need to do on a daily basis dealing with the annoyance of that kind of pain.
Other than that, class is going good so far, I've met my instructors, the ones I didnt know anyways, and theyre all really cool. I have another Sheriffs Deputy for an instructor, that makes 2...Hes as cool as Briggs thank God. The instructor for my Police Management and Supervision class is a woman from Germany, and shes been a sniper, on the President's detail, all kinds of stuff. Shes nice too. We're filing taxes the day that I go into surgery, before I go in of course, so that will be nice. Other than these few things, theres really nothing new going on right now. Hopefully I'll get on here one more time before surgery, but if not, I will try to get on here again ASAP. I guess thats it for now. Good night :)

Sunday Night Blues...

Well, its Sunday night, I'm starting my next Spring Semester in two days, so I'm really anxious, and really worried at the same time. I am taking 5 classes; Criminal Investigations 2, Street Survival, and Police Management and Supervision, then I'm taking a Political Science class, and a Fitness and Wellness class...Needless to say, with the first 4, I'm really in for it this semester. Hopefully I'm worrying a little more than necessary and I do fine.
My back is killing me, along with my 'tummy'...I see the surgeon tomorrow morning at 10:30 to map out when surgery is going to take place, which sucks, but I'm actually looking forward to it, this pain is once again excruciating. I'm just flat out aggravated!!
Randy called me bout 20 minutes ago, all cheerful, and said that I'll finally be able to see him in a tuxedo. Well, well. After almost 4 years of being together, getting married, going to all the events we've gone to, the best I've gotten without upsetting him or making him feel bad is a plaid shirt and khakis...all his friend had to do was ask that he be a groomsman in his upcoming wedding...and to wear a tux. I know that he didnt, in any way, purposely do this to upset me, I completely understand that he's just being a good friend and that he didnt ask to wear it...but at the same time, in the past, and even very recent past, I've done everything short of beg him to dress up a little bit, I'm not talking tux here, just dress up in a nice shirt, polo, button, dont really matter...just something new, refreshing, and flattering...Wanna know how that turned out?....It didnt. He wears the same stuff, saying that he dont like to dress up...that he wants to be comfortable, and that the occasion doesnt, more or less, deserve dressing up...Well, that doesnt stop me from trying to look my best for him....It doesnt matter to anyone whether or not I'm comfortable, that I'm overweight and feel like a moose in a dressy get-up...I just do it as best I can. Needless to say, I probably got him upset, and surely aggravated him, but I pretty much feel screwed over...My wedding, the parties, the special occasions...I let him be comfortable..but you bet ya we'll be at their wedding dressed to the nines...
I've ranted and raved on here enough tonight...For those of you who read this and may get concerned, theres no need to worry, we dont really argue, we just disagree sometimes, this is one of those times where I get pissed and just need some time to cool off...I'm able to handle it well after a while because he didnt intentionally do it to hurt me...you can count on one thing though....Plaid and khaki wont cut it next time!!!